Everyday Icons with Josh Tessier

From Shadows to Hope: SARC's Lifeline for the Abused

• Josh Tessier • Episode 1

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In this episode of "Everyday Icons," host Josh Tessier interviews Erin Flynn and Beckie Chandler from SARC (The Sexual Assault/Spouse Abuse Resource Center). Erin, the Director of Donor and Community Engagement, and Beckie, the Community Educator and Clinical Intern, discuss the vital services SARC provides for survivors of sexual assault, spouse abuse, stalking, trafficking, and childhood abuse.

SARC's multifaceted approach includes a 40-bed safe house, counseling services, legal aid, and an Abuser Intervention Program. They highlight the importance of their 24-hour helpline and online chat service, particularly during COVID, when victims found it harder to physically escape their abusers.

The conversation also covers SARC's Thanksgiving and holiday projects, providing meals and gifts to those in need. Erin and Beckie emphasize the importance of community support in various forms, whether through donations, volunteering, or spreading awareness on social media.

This episode sheds light on the complexities of abuse, including financial control and emotional manipulation, and stresses the importance of understanding and recognizing signs of abuse in all its forms. The discussion also includes awareness months like Human Trafficking and Stalking Awareness in January, and Teen Dating Violence Awareness in February, underscoring SARC's commitment to education and prevention.

Overall, the podcast episode serves as an informative and compassionate exploration of the critical work done by SARC in helping victims of abuse and their ongoing efforts to raise awareness and support within the community.

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https://www.sarc-maryland.org/

SARC Amazon Wish List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2JPC70RWV5Y8A/ref=cm_go_nav_hz



Josh Tessier
Moveiconic.com
Everyday Icons
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Welcome to the show everyone we are here today talking with Erin and Beckie from Sark of Harford County the Sexual Assault and Spousal Abuse Resource Center so if you ladies just want to introduce yourself and we'll dive right in.


Erin (00:19.598)

Sure. My name is Erin Flynn and I am the Director of Donor and Community Engagement.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (00:25.891)

Hi, my name is Beckie Chandler and I'm the community educator for SARC and I'm doing a clinical internship here as well.


Josh Tessier (00:31.811)

Okay, awesome. So I just kind of wanted to bring a lot of awareness to the, you know, the community of what you guys do, how you operate, because there's a lot a lot of people, you know, you can only advertise so much with what you're doing. So if you want to maybe jump in on some of the things we were just talking about, what is SARC and how can people get involved?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (00:52.315)

So as you said, SARC is the Sexual Assault Spouse Abuse Resource Centre. We have been in the community for 50 years or so, and we were set up by the community for the community following an incident in the community, when people realised that those resources weren't available. And so, yet we continue to grow and support different survivors. We support individuals who have experienced sexual assault.


spouse abuse or intimate partner violence, also called dating or domestic abuse. And we also support individuals who've been stalked, who have been trafficked by perhaps loved ones, because family trafficking is a lot more prevalent than we realize, and people who've experienced childhood abuse in some way. And we do this in lots of different ways. So we have many different departments to work in very flexible ways for survivors.


So we have our safe house, this is now 40 beds, so we can fit a lot more people in than we could this time a couple of years ago. We also have a Abuser Intervention Program to try and stop the cycle and really kind of help abusers understand and change their patterns and behaviours, these are learned behaviours that they are doing. We have counselling services and legal services and we


of wrap around client services, look things like case management, crisis kind of response, and we have hospital companions, so people who will go out and sit with someone who has experienced an assault of some kind, talk them through the exam, advocate for them, you know, literally and figuratively hold their hand during that very intense experience when they might not want any family members or any friends around, but we don't want them to be alone in that. So we work in lots of different ways.


Josh Tessier (02:44.575)

Sure.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (02:46.875)

And we have a helpline as well that we want people to know about. So some of the things that we do in a nutshell.


Josh Tessier (02:51.698)

Okay.


Erin (02:55.15)

I'm going to go.


Josh Tessier (02:55.503)

Yeah. Erin did you want to jump in on any of that?


Erin (02:59.238)

Yeah, we're very lucky to be heavily supported within the community. We try to help whoever, or we do help everybody that comes to us and is seeking some sort of help, whether it's clinical or legal advice. Yeah.


Josh Tessier (03:15.971)

Okay. So when you were saying, like, if we broke it down to someone gets abused, they go to the hospital, is the hospital the one notifying you guys?


Erin (03:25.638)

It is. Oh, I'm sorry. So yes, we, the hospital will contact SARC and either a SARC employee or a SARC volunteer who has been trained will go out to one of the hospitals and stay with the person and as long as they want them there.


Josh Tessier (03:27.558)

Okay.


Josh Tessier (03:38.629)

Okay.


Josh Tessier (03:43.887)

Okay, and then the process I guess from there could be like options, hey, can we get you help? Can we get you out? Maybe the meeting with the spouse kind of thing.


Erin (03:53.178)

Exactly. They're there to advocate for the person, the victim. The hospital's obviously there to medically clear them. The police are there to gather evidence and SARC is there to advocate for them and let them know about the resources we offer and how everything is free for them if they need it.


Josh Tessier (04:12.267)

Okay. So if someone was being abused or something like that, what would happen? Do they reach out to you guys online? Do they call you? How are people getting away? Because I know that that's a common theme of where it's kind of hard for them to escape in some instances where they don't have the funds or the abuser controls everything.


Erin (04:16.162)

Oh


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (04:33.895)

Thanks for watching!


Yeah, absolutely.


Erin (04:36.886)

There is, there's two ways they can call and get help. They can call our helpline, which is 24 hours, and that number is 410-836-8430. And then we also have an online chat that we found was very helpful during COVID when people couldn't necessarily get away from their abusers, but they were online. And we do have three days of chat right now, so they can go online and at the bottom of our website, which is sarc-maryland.org.


At the bottom, it'll say helpline number, and it has a chat. And that is Monday mornings, Tuesday mornings, and Thursday afternoons that they can go online and chat with someone. We always like to point out that at the top right-hand side of our website, there is a leave the website quickly. So if anybody comes into the room that you don't want to know that you're on the SARC website, it takes you to the Weather Channel. And they can't.


Josh Tessier (05:10.514)

Okay.


Erin (05:34.23)

Go back and see what you were searching. It'll just stay on the weather channel.


Josh Tessier (05:38.051)

Okay, so it's a nice built-in safety feature for someone that's probably worried about reaching out. Okay. And then Becky, I know, so I guess to revert back at you're getting close to the holidays. What are people like, what are you guys in need of right now? Like, what are some of the things you're advocating for?


Erin (05:41.674)

It is, exactly. So there's two ways for everybody to reach out.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (05:58.215)

So at the moment we have our Thanksgiving project that we've just about to release. It's very exciting. And Erin will tell you more about that because she's been very closely working on that one. And then we also have a holiday project. So we're doing a doctor family. And as I said, my role is kind of about, going out and sharing this information, educating people on the cycles of violence on the power and control wheels and things. But Erin's is the one that kind of.


pulls a lot of these very important fundraising events and things which are going to benefit the families directly together. So I'll let her kind of touch on some of the seasonal things we're doing.


Erin (06:32.226)

No.


Thanks, Becky. So right now we are running our holiday project and we have been collecting and donors were dropping off Thanksgiving meals, which are non-perishable foods in a bag and also a $30 gift card. So our clients can go out and buy a turkey or a ham or butter, anything perishable that they're gonna need for a Thanksgiving meal. We're also doing adopt a family like Becky said, where donors can sign up to adopt one person, two people or an entire family, depending on what fits their budget.


and our clients are currently working on a wish list of what they would like to get for the holidays, and then donors can go out and shop from that wish list.


Josh Tessier (07:12.739)

Okay. And those are not just the kids usually. I mean, a lot of these people do have children that they're bringing with them. It's for the moms or the dads that are there. I feel like you guys had mentioned like just something simple like towels. Like, you know, people come with the clothes on their back and that's it.


Erin (07:21.396)

It is.


Erin (07:26.871)

Yes.


Erin (07:32.222)

Yes, exactly. If they're coming to stay with us in the safe house, they a lot of times, like you said, are coming with just the clothes on their back. So we give everybody brand new sheets, towels, comforters, everything that they'll need to be comfortable while they stay with us. And then when they leave us, they're allowed to take everything with them. So it's one less cost that they have to worry about. And that's why we're always looking for those types of donations, because with a 40 bed shelter, you can imagine we're going through quite a few.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (07:32.499)

Absolutely.


Josh Tessier (08:01.223)

Yeah, a lot. OK. Yeah, and we can include a link here for every one of some of the backlinks of where to find what you guys need. And that way, you don't have to talk about it all on here. But. Ha ha.


Erin (08:02.219)

Mm-hmm.


Erin (08:11.075)

Haha


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (08:11.527)

That is wonderful. We do keep an Amazon kind of updated wishlist for things and toilet trees and things like that are always helpful. But yeah, we can send you some of the links that people can kind of keep on top of what it is that we actually need at the moment.


Josh Tessier (08:16.4)

Okay.


Erin (08:16.503)

We do.


Josh Tessier (08:25.207)

Okay, perfect. So when people are coming, obviously they may have kids, they may have pets. Is there like what if they have pets? How does that work?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (08:32.291)

Yeah, so in the past, I believe that we've had links with other organizations and the pets have gone to some of those kind of groups, organizations in the interim. At the moment, we, so one of the things that we really wanted to include in the new safe house was a pet shelter. Because this has been such a huge obstacle to people leaving in the past, you know, they, this is their companion, you know, it may have been threatened, it may have also been hurt, it may also be traumatized from what's been going on in the house. So we wanted to make sure that


all the survivors can stay together and recover together. So we've now got our pet shelter that we are kind of, yeah, in the trial stages of. So yeah, because that's important as well. This might be the only kind of steady support that a survivor has had because isolation is such a big part of abuse.


Josh Tessier (09:05.767)

Sure.


Josh Tessier (09:10.643)

That's awesome.


Josh Tessier (09:23.643)

So when you say isolation, could you maybe give them some examples of what these people are, these ladies or gentlemen are experiencing?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (09:30.331)

Absolutely, absolutely. And I really appreciate you kind of continuing to raise the fact that this is something that very much affects men as well as women, as well as people in our LGBTQ plus communities. It is not, you know, there's no kind of stereotypical survivor as much as we may have been led to think there is. That's not the case, unfortunately. But no, so with isolation, well, as I mentioned before, there's a power and control wheel, and this is what we tend to understand a little bit about some of these behaviors.


Josh Tessier (09:46.9)

Yeah.


Erin (09:52.494)

you


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (10:00.731)

domestic abuse, intimate partner violence, is one partner gaining and maintaining power and control over another partner. So it's very much one individual, there's a dynamic here so it's not equal, which is what we would like in a healthy relationship. And they do that in lots of different ways. So one of the ways, a really big way, is isolation. So this might be moving to a different area.


you know, taking that person away from friends, family, jobs, you know, people who might notice any changes in their behaviour as the abuse starts to worsen. It may be controlling what they wear, who they speak to, who they're allowed to call, who they text. It may be not allowing them access to a phone at all. There's many, many ways that somebody can be isolated. It can also impact them, you know, spiritually. They might not be able to practise their...


their traditions, their rituals, the things which are important to them, their beliefs. So yeah, it's all about kind of taking a person away from their usual support group, which will be able to intervene if needed, or at least be somewhere that they could go when the abuse got too bad to stay, and making it so that they feel very trapped. It's very difficult for them to know that there are options.


indeed to speak to anybody or to find out about SARC let alone the fact that we have a safe house and we have all these different supports. So that's just kind of one piece that we see a lot of. You also touched on financial abuse earlier, and that's in most cases we see some kind of economic abuse. And, you know, in the relationship it's often one person deciding who's going to be the person working and what that...


what's going to be happening to the money, you know, who's going to be paying the bills if then, you know, they might not be split properly, it's going to be one person's job and the person, the bill payer might not be the one making the decisions. It might be making big financial decisions without asking the other person for their input. It might be having all of the cards, bank accounts, leases, you know, papers in one person's name.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (12:04.911)

rather than the other person's name. So that person has no access to anything. We also see some pretty long-term effects of this. So, you know, damaging somebody's credit rating to the point where they couldn't rent on their own afterwards. They couldn't even necessarily get a phone on contract afterwards. So this is not short-term problems that we're talking about. And that's why we...


try to have so many ways of supporting somebody who is leaving that and looking at that kind of longer term plan on their road to independence. So many, many different ways that all of these kind of different types of abuse can happen.


Josh Tessier (12:40.795)

Okay, what do you guys see is the more common? I guess that goes under the radar that I feel like I was at one of the events the Bourbon and bubbles that you did and the lady speaking like I said, it will forever be ingrained in my brain of, you know, her husband locking her in her basement for three days and her being dehydrated and not having food and water and any of these things while her kids were away.


their dads, I believe is what it was, correct me if I'm wrong, but these are just not things that people can really fathom actually happened to someone else. I mean, I grew up in an abusive household and, you know, my stepdad's in jail now, my mom went to jail for an extended period of time and that was not on my radar to think, oh yeah, there's people locking them in the basement. I think you guys mentioned also that there's like certain stages of the abuser to where, you know, her abuser was like death is imminent kind of thing.


And could you touch on some of that?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (13:39.963)

Yeah, absolutely. So I think most people think of it being physical and it is not always physical. It's a lot about gaining that control. So the other person is doing whatever you want them to do. And if they're not, then their life is being made miserable. And that's not always physical. That could be humiliation in public, that kind of emotional abuse piece, mind games, making somebody feel guilty for doing things, which...


you know, pretty normal, common things that they should be allowed to do. Um, we use the term gaslighting. So this is when somebody's reality is distorted because the abuser keeps changing the reality for them. They, they change the goalposts, you know, one week they love pasta. They love lasagna. The next week they've never liked it. Why would you think that? Why would you make that for me? You know, that's, it's, it starts to make the victim, um, feel like they can't trust themselves. Like their memory is flawed. And again, that goes.


quite a distance to preventing them from leaving, preventing them from feeling confident enough and able enough to move forward independently. We've also got, you know, kind of coercion and threats, intimidation, using children as kind of pawns in this piece. So saying things in front of the children for the benefit of the children, trying to turn the children against the partner, the victim, saying, you know, if they, if the victim does leave,


then they might be telling the children, you know, we'd be a family again if the other parent, you know, allowed it, but you know, they've broken us up, that kind of thing. So really trying to change the children's perspectives and that manipulation piece, a lot of these overlap. And then there's the denying, minimizing and blaming. So taking absolutely no accountability for anything, the victim might be really wanting to, you know, make things better, work on the relationship, go to counselling.


bring up some of the issues they're having, but the abuser's not likely to engage in any of that. They might give a lot of lip service after there's been an abusive incident and say, oh yes, I'll go to counseling, things will be different, make any promises they like, but they're never gonna follow through seriously because they're not gonna take any responsibility for their behavior. So those are some of the things that we see on this power and control wheel. But in terms of the cycle of abuse, which you talked about the stages.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (16:02.743)

We have to remember that nobody starts in a, you know, nobody goes into a relationship which is abusive from the get-go. There are warning signs, but when we're in that kind of, you know, getting to know each other, that romantic period, the honeymoon, you know, we don't want to look at them too much. But during that time, the abuser is going to be testing the boundaries, seeing if...


you know, they will stay home rather than go out with their friends. If they will cancel appointments, they can be with them. You know, if they're going to tell everybody if they push, if they, you know, push them a little bit too hard or, or touch them in a, in a, in a way they don't like to be touched. So there's going to be all these warning signs from the beginning, but they're not going to be the big explosions that we see later on enough to be concerning because if that happened in the first week, most of us would walk away. And that's the same for survivors as well. If this happened in the first week, most of them would walk away. So.


Erin (16:24.046)

Thanks for watching!


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (16:52.651)

It escalates over time. We see this cycle which has three stages. We have the honeymoon stage, so the hearts and flowers, the big promises that I love to use, those lovely memories. Then we have the tension building stage, which is when the abuser is in a very, they're unpleasable, they are critical, they are moody, they are irritable. And subsequently this makes the victim walk on eggshells.


they're not going to be able to express how uncomfortable they feel with the situation. They're going to have to be very in denial about their own emotional experience because they're just trying to please implicate the abuser and try to avoid that big explosive kind of assault, essentially. Unfortunately, that is inevitable and it increases over time. It changes over time according to, you know, what needs to happen.


I use that in our quotes for the abuser to gain and maintain that power and control. So it might be, you know, they push them the first time. The next time, maybe it's a slap. The next time, maybe it's a, you know, kind of gripping them tightly. It will change over time. Um, and during this situation, you know, we might have, we might see the abuser. Um, we might see the victim, you know, fighting back. They might not fight back. They might call the police. They might not.


the police, there's lots of different ways they're in shock, they aren't necessarily in control of their reaction, but very soon after that we'll go straight back into the honeymoon phase with that abuser making all those promises, remembering what a great relationship it could be, or the potential they have, that kind of thing, and we see that going on and on and on and it's very different according to relationships, so some relationships you'll see this multiple times a day, in other relationships you might see you know the


the victim being living in that tension building stage for years until that big explosion happens. So it's very hard to understand, especially when you're in it and kind of see these patterns and these cycles. So unfortunately they are there.


Josh Tessier (18:54.119)

So I feel like there's a number to this and I don't recall what it was, but how long does it take for someone to finally reach out for help? Or think like, okay, hey, if I call the police, like, is anything going to actually happen? Is it going to make a madder? Is it going to make it worse? Like what's going to happen to the kids or me or, or family?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (19:15.683)

Yeah, yeah, we think the average is seven to eight times. It takes somebody to leave. So the seventh or eighth time will be permanent leaving. They'll have tried six to seven times before that. And I read a statistic recently which indicates that if somebody's in a BIPOC, you know, black, indigenous people of color group, it might take them upwards of ten times because the support systems are not there in the way that they are for the rest of the kind of society.


Josh Tessier (19:45.043)

Sure.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (19:45.671)

So yeah, it takes a lot and I think you've touched exactly on it. You know, it's very hard to leave everything that's familiar to you. You don't want to have to take the children away from the school that's nearby, from their friends in the neighborhood. You don't want to have to, you know, try and get a job that's going to work around childcare or find a house which is going to suit, you know, you, three children, a dog and maybe one of you has a disability. So you need some, you know, accessibility.


in that place, there's a lot of different factors to consider and it's not an easy thing to do, which is why we want to make sure that, you know, the supports are there for people who you can, even then it might not be the right time for them. And that's a big thing in Sark, you know, we really want to make sure that people are able to do this process when they are ready to, because we know that telling somebody, okay, you need to do this now, okay, you need to go here now.


There's too many other things going on. It's not possible for them at that time. So we're there to support somebody whenever they're ready to give us the call. The call might just be, you know, I'm a bit concerned about this. I don't know what's going on. Is this normal? Like question asking, it might take months before they're actually ready to leave. Um, but we still want to be that helpline that's there. Well, you know, throughout that, throughout that whole process for them.


Josh Tessier (21:00.703)

So you got, so let's say what's something, I know you said you have that honeymoon phase, right? And I've heard that term obviously before, but, and I, my understanding is that could last in upwards of two years before someone really starts to unveil themselves from, you know, what I've seen on, you know, reading and things. And I'm not an expert on that, but I mean, it makes sense. More of the comfort level kicks in and they're just like, now the abusing starts or more, you know, harder. And, you know, how do they prep?


Erin (21:21.086)

Thank you.


Josh Tessier (21:30.467)

When you're saying you're having these conversations, is it a hey, maybe you got to kind of deal with it right now and let's do these things to kind of set you up so you can get out of it and maybe three months or whatever that timeline is, I'm not sure.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (21:43.631)

Yeah, it can be, you know, up to two years, it can be 15, 20 years, it can be six months. If that, you know, because it's a very intense stage, it tends to be a very intense relationship. So sometimes it might be the couple that's moving in together in three months and declaring an engagement six months after, obviously there's plenty of engagements at six months, which live happily ever after. But it can also be indicative that there's an intensity that is unnecessary. So it's very different according to relationship.


Erin (22:03.724)

I'm sorry.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (22:12.575)

But yeah, some of what we do on the helpline will be safety planning, you know, looking at that kind of financial aspect of, okay, what's your plan? What are you thinking three months time? Okay, so how can you start accruing some money? How can we get you, you know, what's the documents you need to make sure that you have copies of? Where can you store these? What do the children need to know in terms of?


you know, being able to call the police if they need to. There's a lot of different ways that we would just safety plan if somebody's not ready to leave at that time, you know, looking at the rooms, their escape route, where they can have a to-go backstashed, many, many different options that we can talk through somebody, talk with in the helpline. Yeah.


Josh Tessier (22:47.617)

Okay.


Josh Tessier (22:53.471)

Sure. Now some of that stuff available already online, like let's say I have an instinct that, you know, things are going to go, they're going south. I'm worried about the kids, I'm worried about calling, and you know, I'm fearful of them and myself or whoever. Is there somewhere they can start trying to prep without calling? Is that existent?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (23:13.699)

I'm sure if you Google anything, you can find a lot of helpful tips. Yeah, absolutely. Um, and we have a website and I'm just kind of reminding myself of some of those things that we have on it. Cause it's, it's kind of a fancy new one. And we came out last year. Um, but our website is sarc, S A R C hyphen Maryland, the full word there.org. So sarc hyphen Maryland.org. And there's a lot of information there about, you know,


Josh Tessier (23:15.471)

Okay. Mm-hmm.


Erin (23:23.72)

Thank you.


Hahaha.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (23:38.007)

what our service is. There's a corner for teens, a Teen corner with some resources for them. And then there's also ways to get involved and things like that. But yeah, I don't doubt there's some really helpful information online. There's lots of different organizations doing similar things to us.


We've got the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence, which is MNA-DV, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, which is NCA-DV, and many, many others, which kind of work in different ways. So yeah, there's plenty of information out there if that's going to be safer for somebody, but if they want to speak to someone and start kind of planning or just getting, you know, someone to talk to, they might be very isolated, as I said, then they're more than welcome to call out, help out any time of day or night.


Josh Tessier (24:06.516)

Sure.


Erin (24:06.58)

Thank you.


Josh Tessier (24:21.391)

Okay, now I know you said there's some awareness months coming up. Would you mind sharing some info on what those are and how people could be involved?


Erin (24:27.35)

Thank you.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (24:30.387)

Yeah, for sure. So January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month and Stalking Awareness Month. So we have the 11th of January, which I believe is a Thursday. We're doing a human trafficking webinar and that will be through a local sorority group. So we can put the information about that near the time on our Facebook, so I believe that's open to the public. The 18th is the


National Stalking Day or Day of Action for stalking. So we may be doing something for that as well, just kind of in the process of planning all of that. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. So we do a lot of talks during the year, or I do a lot of talks during the year for children, adolescents, younger groups, to just teach them healthy relationship behaviors. We're not talking about anything kind of exactly boundaries, kindness.


Josh Tessier (25:19.711)

boundaries.


Erin (25:22.254)

Mm-hmm.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (25:25.123)

the importance of fun in a relationship. And then some of the warning flags, you know, belittling, manipulation, intensity, possessiveness, all those kind of things. And there's videos that we have, you know, cartoons and then real life stuff to kind of demonstrate, you know, so they can start to see these things and they know.


then if it's not in their own relationship, they can see in their friends' relationships and they know about the supports to get for that. So yeah, that's something we did last year. We used those healthy relationships and unhealthy relationship behaviours from One Love, which is an organisation that we do a lot of workshops that they provide. So that was, we asked students to demonstrate.


or to do a film demonstrating some of these. And we had an excellent submission that one showing kind of intensity and somebody really standing up for themselves, you know, putting that boundary down. It was very empowering. We loved it. So yeah, hopefully maybe doing something similar to that this year and really getting people involved, spreading that awareness.


Erin (26:14.028)

Mm-hmm.


Josh Tessier (26:20.659)

That's awesome.


Josh Tessier (26:28.352)

Yeah, anything you wanted to add there, Erin


Erin (26:30.282)

Yep, in April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and that's when we host our annual Walk a Mile in her shoes events, and that's when the community comes together and men actually walk a mile in high heels. Of course, you don't have to if you're not comfortable, but some gentlemen come with their own high heels, and we have plenty on hand for people to borrow. We do like it to be a family event, so...


Josh Tessier (26:56.816)

Okay.


Erin (26:58.526)

everybody's welcome to bring their kids, their dogs, their wives, anybody that they want to walk with. It's a great awareness event. It's a great way for the community to get together to talk about SARC, but also raise some money to help our clients throughout the year.


Josh Tessier (27:16.086)

Okay. And is that in Bell layer?


Erin (27:18.378)

It is, it's actually, it's in the parking lot of Das Beer Hall, right on the top of Main Street, and then we'll walk just in a little loop around Main Street and we end up back in. There's plenty of activities. We have a DJ, we usually have food trucks, there's activities for the kids. C Milton wright marching band kicks us off and plays music while we get going. It's just a great morning of community and getting everybody together.


Josh Tessier (27:23.169)

Mm-hmm.


Josh Tessier (27:46.423)

Okay, all right, and that's one of your bigger events, right?


Erin (27:49.418)

It is, it is, and that is actually going to take place on April 20th.


Josh Tessier (27:54.115)

Okay, all right. And how would people like if do you need vendors? Do you need sponsors? Obviously, money is always appreciated, but


Erin (28:01.006)

It is, it is. So this is a peer to peer event. So people sign up to walk. So a lot of people will start a lot of companies or a lot of families will have a team captain sign up to be the head of a team. And you come up with a fun name to go with your walking team And then you get people to sign up to walk with you, you get people to sponsor you. So it's more peer to peer fundraising.


We are always looking for sponsors for the event. We have a walk t-shirt, so the sponsors will go on the back of a shirt. They'll be on all of our social media posts, they'll email blast, they'll get a lot of recognition for joining the event. So there's different ways you can get involved. And if you're not in the area, you can still sponsor someone that is walking in the area or make a donation that way.


On our SARC website there is an events page and you can go on there to, there'll be more information coming after the new year, but you can go on there to get to sign up and register.


Josh Tessier (29:00.027)

Okay, all right. And then would you guys mind sharing just maybe some stats for as a whole for, you know, SARC and then maybe the county or state and just the United States as a whole? I'm sure other people will hear this, but whatever you got.


Erin (29:16.75)

So I'll start with SARC. So on average, we help around 1,500 men, women, and children a year. We house in our new Phelan Safe House, which is now, like Beckie said, it's a 40-bed shelter. We help, on average, 200 people in our safe house a year. 60% of them are children. Yes, we have last year, I'll just take a look. Last year, we had.


Josh Tessier (29:18.972)

Okay.


Josh Tessier (29:37.554)

Wow.


Erin (29:45.038)

7,566 safe nights. So that's over 7,000 nights where people were safe within our safe house, which is a staggering number. We also helped 25 clients move into independent living after leaving our safe house. We have a welcome home program, which we're really proud of. So once people leave us, we let them, they make the decision of where they're going to move.


Josh Tessier (29:48.671)

Cheers.


Erin (30:12.79)

We help them in the process and help them with the lease, but they get to choose what apartment or what rental they would like to move into. And we help them move in, get situated. We have a grant program that we help them with their first and last month's rent.


Josh Tessier (30:34.551)

I think we lost you for a second. Can you say that part just again? It broke up just a second.


Erin (30:41.826)

Oh, sure. We help them with their first and last month's rent, as well as security part, security deposit through a grant program. So it's one less expense that they have to worry about so they can focus on getting themselves in a nice safe area and their kids situated. And so we're really proud about that program as well. Beckie do you want to talk about national? Mm-hmm.


Josh Tessier (31:02.499)

Okay, and yeah.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (31:05.703)

Yeah, okay. So in every year, there's one day where the kind of larger organizations like the M&ADV that I mentioned before, they do a snapshot of the services in particular areas. So well, across the board. So for Maryland, and this is the last one is kind of from 2019 because they haven't really picked it up too well since COVID.


Erin (31:11.962)

you


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (31:32.463)

But it was on September the 12th and they identified that 702 people were served in one day in this state alone. So in Maryland, we know that over one in three women, over one in four men, and as I said, the stats are often higher for our LGBTQ plus community, will experience intimate partner violence at some point during their life. Intimate partner violence makes up 20% of all violent crime.


And in the United States, we know that more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually, and sometimes the shocking thing with this is that they are only taking kind of one piece when they say things like, you know, an incident occurs every minute. Well, that's one incident for one couple every minute. But we know that incidents tend to happen more than that, you know, in an abusive relationship. So actually, it's many, many more incidents.


Josh Tessier (32:24.143)

Sure.


once every second maybe.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (32:28.899)

Yeah, exactly, things like that. For sexual assault, we know that one in five women and one in 40 men are victims of rape or attempted rape during their lifetime. We know that the stigma against male victims coming forward is significant and real. So it's likely that that's very different. People need to understand that no means no, and that if somebody doesn't want to and it's still taken from them, then that is what we class as rape. So.


We also have concerns about stalking and that's our next one of our next things coming up as I said. Stalking is a very concerning behaviour. It takes a lot of energy to stalk somebody digitally or to appear where they're not expected. We also know that people don't really recognise stalking as much as they might recognise domestic abuse or sexual assault. Stalking is a pattern of two or more behaviours which are unwanted and would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.


So that's how we distinguish stalking from harassment, is that fear piece rather than irritation and annoyance. And stalking can be anything from an unwanted, a couple of unwanted phone calls, leaving gifts outside somebody's place of work perhaps, appearing in places that they're not expected, sending them or commenting repeatedly online. There's many, many different ways that this can happen and it becomes very intrusive. And we see there's a big overlap, unfortunately, with intramurparna violence and stalking. So...


It can be a big indicator of some serious risk as well. So people do need to be more informed about it. And then the last steps I have are on, do I have anything on that? No. Okay, so intimate partner violence is estimated to cost the US economy between 5.8 billion and $12.6 billion annually. A lot of this is on medical costs, legal costs, rehousing.


the fact that they've had to take time off work, so they're on benefits during that time because they are not in a place where their brain is able to work every day. So there's many, many significant impacts this has on the individual, but also on our society as a whole. So just really appreciate the opportunity to kind of come and raise a bit more awareness to it. So thank you.


Josh Tessier (34:33.159)

Yeah.


Josh Tessier (34:45.479)

Yeah, absolutely. So, like, let's take the kids, for instance, right? Because, I mean, not to say that the parents can't get over things, but they're going to handle it different. You know, the kids may not understand what's happening to an extent. Like you said, dad's doing one thing, or mom's doing the other thing, and there's no connection for that. So is there some kind of, like, ongoing therapy that's an option and available for both the parent and the children, since you said 60% are children?


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (35:12.547)

Yeah, absolutely. So our counseling services, and this is kind of my clinical interning area at the moment, we offer support to anybody over the age of five. We do teletherapy and telephone at the moment that kind of started during COVID and we found that actually that fits in a lot better with people's schedules, especially, you know, people who are, who have childcare and are a single parent now to kind of go through that process. So that's kind of the situation at the moment.


Children, yeah, from five years, but they can have it. And again, it depends on how they're responding. Some children are gonna really benefit from that. Other children, they may have just kind of processed it. It's done with, we don't need to kind of rehash it too much. So it's a case by case situation, but that support is absolutely there for whenever anybody is ready for it and feels that they would benefit from it. So...


Josh Tessier (36:04.435)

Okay.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (36:07.823)

Yeah, our counseling services, just like everything else for us survivors and victims are completely free. And they can be accessed just like everything else.


Josh Tessier (36:12.283)

Hmm. Yeah. And I saw on your website, like you said, it's okay. I was gonna say, yeah, I saw on the website, then I think Erin and I touched on this the first day is like all the different package plans that you guys offer to kind of simplify to an extent of like, hey, $50 donation would cover a hospital visit or $1,000 will cover someone's entire journey through the process. Is it usually that you guys could use more of the


the monetary donations, moreover, maybe some of the stuff, or obviously you'd take anything that they could use. Would people come drop that off to you? Would they ship it to you? Would they bring a check in? Like, how do they get those to you?


Erin (36:52.394)

So it depends on what they're doing. We obviously, we are fully funded by donations and grants. And like you both have touched base, all of our services are free. So I think sometimes people aren't aware that our legal department, all the legal services are free, the counseling, the safe house, it's all free to our clients who need it. So.


If you want to make a monetary donation, you can go onto our website and make a donation there. You can, we have an admin building location in Bel Air where you can drop off a check. Donations that are objects or items, you can drop off again at our admin office. We do have a wish list with Amazon that comes directly to us, so you can order online there as well.


Josh Tessier (37:38.559)

Okay. And then is there anything else that you guys would wanna share that maybe we didn't touch on that people should be aware of or you may not but.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (37:47.855)

Yeah, so just kind of sell myself a little bit. So as a community educator, my role is to kind of go to different organizations and do this kind of training on power and control wheel on healthy relationships. And we can do that in many different ways. For kids, maybe we're talking about those healthy behaviors, as I said, for adults, it might be that we're looking at boundaries, we're looking at consent, we're looking at how to...


Erin (37:50.671)

Hehehe.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (38:14.567)

how to get help, how to support somebody else, how to check in with a friend. So, and you know, we do a lot of professional training as well for different organizations. So how to identify victims who may be using your services, how to support victims in a trauma-informed way, being mindful of some of the injuries they've had, which might make it very hard for them to speak clearly. And that, you know, compose different concerns when you're, you know, trying to get.


statements and things from them and you need that kind of accurate information. So explaining how we can speak to clients, how we can kind of interview them in a trauma-informed way. So just like everything else, our services are completely free. The only thing we actually charge for...


Josh Tessier (38:43.943)

Yeah.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (38:57.959)

with Sark is the user intervention program and that's on a sliding scale again to make sure that people can afford it because that's an important part as well of breaking the cycle. So yeah if anybody wanted free education on any of the stuff we've talked about today or even on something else that you think might be related to the work we do they can absolutely reach out. I often create new presentations or adapt some that we have you know to fit the need but that would


Josh Tessier (39:27.683)

Okay. All right. Anything else you had, Erin?


Erin (39:31.606)

I think it's important to say that not everybody's in a situation where they can financially support SARC or any organizations, but there's other ways that you can support us. It's following us on social media and sharing our posts. Helping getting that awareness out there is really vital to SARC. Anytime someone mentions SARC or our helpline, you never know who's going to be listening or who's going to need that. It might not be.


that day or the next day, but it might be a friend two years down the line that you find out needs help and you remember SARC and the helpline and they can call in and get that the help that they need and deserve.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (40:11.311)

Yeah.


Josh Tessier (40:11.407)

Yeah, that was the big point of, you know, trying to do this is just, you know, all the people we talked to lately and clients and things are like, wow, what is that? How do I get involved? And it's people want to help. They're just not, they don't see it. Or you know, like you said.


Erin (40:19.861)

Mm-hmm.


Erin (40:27.054)

They don't. Oh, I'm sorry. That's what's amazing, again, about Harford County is we are one big community and we appreciate that and we know that we can't do the job that we do without the help of the community. Financially, spreading the awareness, just going out there and advocating for us. We can't ask for more than that.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (40:27.476)

Yeah.


Josh Tessier (40:49.723)

Yeah. And then I don't know if it was one of you guys, or maybe it was Alison that had mentioned that, you know, sometimes you guys get people that aren't from the county that maybe they're coming from Baltimore or see solar or different locations. So it's you don't necessarily have to be here to ask for help.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (40:50.056)

exciting.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (41:05.383)

Absolutely. It's a 24-hour helpline. People can call it from wherever. If they have a reason to be in Halford County, then there's services we can offer them. But as I say, some of our services are online now, so we can do that wherever somebody is within the state. But we have also got people to save their housing in many different states across this country. We can absolutely be a resource. If we know that we're not the best one, then we can link them with


whoever we know, whoever kind of does similar stuff to us in the area they need to be in. We also take, you know, people are very generous with their time, so we do have volunteer opportunities and people are welcome to apply and kind of get involved in that way and all that information is online as well. So there's many, many different opportunities for how to support us.


Josh Tessier (41:58.527)

So while you're touching on that, so what would be the most opportune volunteer? Is it people that are donating their, maybe they're a psychiatrist, maybe they're a therapist, maybe they're an attorney. What are some of the, hey, they happen to hear this or they know someone that maybe can help on a higher level, not just the, maybe accounting or whatever the things are, but like, hey, we don't have enough attorneys, we don't have enough people to help with the peace orders, we don't have enough people with...


whatever the thing is, are there certain professionals that you may be looking for above and beyond that you don't have enough of?


Erin (42:35.318)

We actually, our legal department is fully staffed. So we have four full-time attorneys. We have legal advocates as well to help clients. For volunteers, we have two types of volunteers that can help. You can help behind the scenes that's helping with events or going out and sitting at an information table at a school event or fire department or anything like that. We also are looking for volunteers to help with companion calls.


Josh Tessier (42:38.514)

Okay.


Erin (43:05.458)

and also help man the 24 hour helpline. So we do have people that will go through training to be able to take helpline calls as well. Mm-hmm.


Josh Tessier (43:13.063)

Okay, that's cool. Is there like an age requirement for someone to do that? Is it 18 and above? Is it prefer?


Erin (43:18.928)

It is 18 and above for that. We do have some volunteers that will help like in the food pantry and they come in who are under 18 and they usually come in with a parent or a guardian. So they can.


Josh Tessier (43:28.914)

Okay.


Awesome. Anything else you guys would like to share?


Erin (43:35.034)

Just thank you for help spreading the awareness and getting involved with SARC. We're really excited to partner with you.


Josh Tessier (43:43.047)

Yeah, no, I'm excited as well. Well, I appreciate having you guys on here. Where can everyone reach you again? Just final here at the end.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (43:43.091)

Yeah, that's wonderful.


Erin (43:53.518)

They can call our... Go ahead. No. Ha ha ha.


Beckie Chandler (SARC) (43:53.763)

Yeah, so you can... So they can call our 24-hour helpline, which is 410-836-8430. A lot of information is online at sarc-maryland.org or on our Facebook page, which is Sarc Halford County, and Instagram, which is also sarc-halford-county. So many, many ways, and that helpline chat as well, on the different times of the week. So, yeah, lots of ways they can reach out.


Erin (44:14.83)

Hehehe


Josh Tessier (44:16.11)

Okay.


Josh Tessier (44:21.411)

Okay. Awesome. Perfect.